June 24th, 2004

i guess im weird like a boy

steve and i are cool now. of course im still a bit angry and hurt. but we talked yesterday and i was thinking.. what would i have done? probably the same damn thing. i understand him a little i guess. i get it. we're both at the point where we hate hurting everyone but we have to do our own thing or we'll go mad.

tara was like "wtf?" when i told her he and i were cool. its a guy thing to be that pissed and just get over it. ever notice that?

erm. my dad will be here tomorrow. and saturday is my party and graduation. im so scared and happy and nervous i could just piss.
  • Current Mood
    anxious anxious

(no subject)

[name:] erika.
[Star sign:] sag.
[sexual orientation:] straight.
[longest relationship:] i think like 3 months.. who knows.
[ever had a long distance relationship:] yes.
[do you have faith in long distance relationships:] no.
[ever been on a blind date:] no way.
[ever dated more than one person at a time:] no.
[ever have "friends with benefits":] bwahaw. oh yea.
[ever cheated:] not i.
[ever had your heart broken:] sure.
[ever been dumped:] yea.
[number of people slept with:] only one, for now.. just you wait! bwahaw.
[do you kiss on the first date:] i dont date.
[what attracts you to a person:] interesting personality, fun, smart, blahblah.
[physical traits you turn your head for:] eyes and having a dick helps.
[ever been in love:] no.
[say I love you even though you didn't mean it:] yea.
[average age you get involved with:] ahem. i dont date. and as far as.. i guess the average age would be 15 ;x
[have relationships changed you:] you know it.
[have your relationships been worthwhile:] no.
[where do you normally meet people for dating or relationships:] i dont.
[would you ever get married:] maybe, but at this point in my life, hell no.
[key to a successful relationship:] trust, honesty, loyalty, fun, excitement, spontaneity.

Wallet? spongebob!
Hairbrush? hafta use a pik. i have some curly hair foo!
Toothbrush? i think its red.... or maybe green?
Jewelry worn daily? jelly bracelets, my blue watch, the 2 bracelets mike made me, skull necklace tommy gave me, ring my granny gave me, hemp ankle bracelet, chain mike gave me, my lip ring, and usually a blue hoop in my upper ear.
Pillow cover? yellow. weird, mustard yellow.
Blanket? used to be white. with my red sheet.
Coffee cup? who cares as long as there's coffee in it.
Sunglasses? no.
Underwear? stripes. lots of striped.
Favorite shirt? hmm.. i love my hoodies.
Cologne/Perfume? lavender, and that guys axe stuff. god i love that smell.
CD in stereo right now? hatebreed.
Tattoos? my ankle. nautical star.
Piercings? ears, left side lip.
What you are wearing now? corduroy pants, leopard skirt, zebra tank top. yellow hoodie with a blue turtle on it.
In my mouth? oj
In my head? leave
Wishing? i wasnt bleeding from the crotch.
What are you doing after this? reading books to zac.
If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason? no one.
Person you wish you could see right now? *sigh* i'll never say
Is next to you? zac
Some of your favorite movies? blow, requiem for a dream, american beauty, pirates of the carribean, pretty in pink, donnie darko, a clockwork orange, trainspotting, drumline (dont ask), the fast and the furious movies(i love the fucking cars), lotr trilogy, shrek, detroit rock city, super troppers, the birds, the omen, i could go on and on
Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month?: moving
The last thing you ate? bagel and hashbrown
Something that you are deathly afraid of? death.
Do you like candles? way too much.
Do you like incense? mhm.
Do you like the taste of blood? i fucking love it.
Do you believe in love? yea.
Do you believe in soul mates? yes.
Do you believe in love at first sight? eh.. lust yes.. love.. sometimes
Do you believe in Heaven? i dont know.
Do you believe in God? yes.
What do you want done with your body when you die? thrown in the woods so at least some animals will get a good meal. donate my organs and shit first though.
What is the latest you've ever stayed up? a few weeks straight.
Can you eat with chopsticks? not correctly.
What's your favorite coin? quarters. cuz you blow dogs for them.
What are some of your favorite candies? gum.
What's something that you wish people would understand? me.
What's something you wish you could understand better? myself.
Who is someone that you really wish was still around? greatgrandpa.

Kissed someone: yes.
Killed someone: no.
Smoked: yes.
Gotten Drunk: today? no.
Worn rainbow: yes.
Talked on the phone for over 3 hours: yes.
Left the country: yes.
Had a party with over 30 people: yes.
Taken nude pictures: no.
Stolen something: yes.
Caught something on fire: yes.
Wanted to cheat on someone: yes.
Asked someone out: yes.
Dumped someone: yes.
Had a dream, then the next day it happens: all the time.

You Touched: zac.
You Talked to in person: zac.
You hugged/kissed: tara hugged me.
Had sex with: mike.
You Instant messaged: charles.
Who broke your heart: me.

Understanding: usually.
Insecure: yes.
Interesting: yes.
Smart: sometimes.
Moody: yes. hell yes.
Difficult: yes.
Attractive: no.
Bore Easily: no bored so much as stir crazy.
Controlling: unfortunately yes.
Sad: yes.
Happy: sometimes.
Trusting: no.
Talkative: sometimes.
Ignored: yes.
Reliable: depends.
Lonely: usually.

-Tacos?: yum.
-Bread?: fuck yea.
-Veggies?: yea.
-Pizza?: fuck yes.
-Doritoes?: yes.
-Pretzels?: sometimes.
-Chocolate?: once a month.
-Garlic?: yea.
-Veal?: yea.
-Chicken?: yessssssssss.
-Ice cream?: occasionally, not a huge ice cream person.
-Hot Pockets?: meh. yea.
-Popcorn?: yes!
-Pop Tarts?: sometimes.
-Salad?: yessssssss.
-Coke?: yesyesyesyesyesyes. in all its forms. mm. cherry..
-Pepsi?: meh.
-Gatorade?: meh..

-Bungee jumped?: no.
-Gotten a tattoo?: yes.
-Sky dived?: no, tara wants me to. uhm.
-Skinny dipped?: no.
-Gotten your tongue stuck to a cold pole?: no.
-Had pop rocks and coke together?: yes.
-Played truth or dare?: yes.
-Kissed for more than 10 minutes at one time?: yea.
-Puked on someone you really liked?: i puked on tara.. does that count?
-Mixed sodas together?: yes.
-Had sushi?: no.
-Had dejavu?: yes.
-Hung up on someone?: yes.
-Used all cuss words in a sentence?: on a daily basis..
-Stood on your head and drank milk?: no.
-Cried during a movie: yes.
-Swallowed gum?: yes.
-Eaten glue?: no.
-Slept for more than 15 hrs?: yes.


1. What do you most like about your body?: my lips, and i have super sexy ankles.
2. And least?: everything else.
3. How many fillings do you have?: *shrug*
4. Do you think you're good looking?: no.
5. Do other people often tell you that you're good-looking?: sometimes. but they're lying.

[ Fashion ]
1. Do you wear a watch?: always. i flip out without it.
2. How many coats and jackets do you own?: a ton.
3. Favorite pants/skirt color?: black.
4. Most expensive items of clothing?: my prom dress..
5. What kind of shoes do you wear?: boots, chucks, and shoes that make me taller than anyone should be. ever.
6. Describe your style in one word: bagladypunkcrustyhomelesstrandywalmartmmodbitchfuckingslut

[ Your Friends ]
1. Do your friends 'know' you?: most, no.
2. What do they tend to be like?: *shrug* sorta eccentric. partiers.
3. Are there traits in you that are universally liked?: i can be sorta random. really funny and hyper. i make them laugh. and i have a bad temper so its fun to watch me flip. and yea i can just me really loud and childish. im also a good listener and always back my friends up.
4. How many people do you tell everything to?: no one.

[ Music/TV/Film/Books ]
2. Most listened to bands/artists: im not doing this today.
3. Do you find any musicians good-looking?: fuck yes.
4. Can you play an instrument: not really.
5. Type of music most listened to?: punk, rock, and rap.
6. Type never listened to?: polka.
7. Tour of your dreams?: shut up.

[ Clothing/Hair ]
1. Do you own any plaid clothing?: yes.
2. Do you own Converse shoes?: yes.
3. Do you own Saucony shoes?: no.
4. Do you own old school Nikes?: no.
5. Do you wear tight pants?: sometimes.
6. Is there more than one zipper in your pants?: sometimes.
8. Do you own a messenger bag?: yes. i dont use it anymore though.
9. Do you wear your messenger bag across your chest?: used to.
10. Do you own braces?: yea.
15. Do you think mohawks are "neat"?: yea.
18. Do you own a bandana?: a few.
19. Do you wear plugs in your ears?: was going to.. lost my damn taper..
21. Have you ever used duct tape as a sewing substitute?: many times.
22. Do you own one or more objects with studs or spikes in them?: yes.

[ Habits/Beliefs ]
31. Do you smoke cigarettes?: yes.
32. Do you smoke cloves?: not usually.
36. Do your night time activites usually involve drunken underage vomiting?: no, i dont usually puke. this girl can hold her booze thank you.
38. Do you wash your hair less than once a week?: sometimes.
39. Have you ever gone a week without a shower?: yea. the other day tara made me shower. damn her.
41. Do you know who Jack Kerouac is?: yes.
42. Do you like Mr. Kerouac?: yes.
44. Are you a member of the Makeout Club?: fuck no.
45. Do you say "rad"?: every now and then
46. Do you say "rockin'"?: nope
47. Do you say punk "rawk"?: no.
48. Do you shout the word "oi"?: sometimes.
49. Do you say "punk's not dead"?: nope.
50. Do you say "punk is dead"?: nope.

[ Music ]
53. Do you like bands with "the"?: sometimes.
54. Do you ever precede your own name with "the" at the beginning?: haha, no, but i should. the erika. i am the erika.
57. Are Blink 182 fans posers?: uh, no. if they like blink182.. what would make them posers. jesus.
58. Do you have frequent debates over what exactly constitutes a sellout?: no. get the fuck over it. mind your own damn buisness. stop shaking your dick and just fucking listen to the music. fuck politics.
59. Have you ever brought the headlining band food?: haha yea. back when i cared.
60. Do you have show flyers affixed to your walls?: used to..